I was reading the other day (ok scanning - I don't remember the last reading I did) and it said," It's just as simple and hard as this." It screamed truth because the simplest things are the hardest for me to do! WHY......!!!! Honestly can't something be simple and EASY? I'm tired and most days it is just EASIER to text a little note than sit down and write it. Heck that is simple in comparison to finding an envelope and stamp these days.
I have prided (thanks Baxter blood) myself on working hard. It is a family trait. We will physically out work anyone. That is our competition. We will WORK until we ruin our bodies, out minds, the project, amd sometimes relationships, but no one will out work us. So this thought of having to do the simple things sounds so hard!
I have been looking through the lens at myself. My body is a challenge to me. My tear in my disk is a constant bother down my left side. My varicose veins are so ugly and I'm trying to take care of. My bunions are beyond ugly and making their way out of any and all shoes I have. Let's not even mention how the complete lack of activity due to the injury has affected my body and in turn my mind and confidence. These physical manifestations... what are they saying to me. What is my body telling me. I really feel (awe ha moment yesterday talking with Barbie and Jesse for the first time in weeks) that I need to SLOW it down. I need to do less. I need to SIMPLIFY.. that is so hard for me. I LOVE adding. I love having my walls, my plate, my closet full, and my schedule full.
I feel accomplished with so much to do. I do not yet feel accomplished holding Gable while he drinks each bottle of milk. I do not feel accomplished playing a game with Poppy Mae. I do not feel accomplished watching Hazel's choreograph show for the 100X that day. Ok, but in reality are these the things that should make me feel good? Yes! These little people are what matter most to me, but sometimes I think they get the littles portion I can give them. I think that providing them food counts as love, but umm they provably could eat mac and cheese all day everyday and be fine so who am I kidding!
I really think the simple + hard thing for me is PEOPLE. Let me date myself but in high school MTV had a show named Daira and her motto was People are Hell! I grabbed onto it and honestly lots of days still feel that way, but people are also LIFE and LOVE. Writing the damn note and finding a stamp may be the most important thing that day. Thomas S. Monson said, "Never let a problem to be solved be more important than a person to be loved." Problems are going to be there every day. Many of the problems I create (ughh) but I focus on solving things and checking them off my list that I forget the people are the most important part of my problems. Loving them, being with them, and simply listening to them will simplify the problems and offer me the deep accomplishment that I'm seeking for, the kind with more staying power because it's stored up in the soul.
Simple + Hard = WORTH all the effort it takes. People - it's as simple as that. People are the important "things" and need to be treated with such a deep love, respect, and reverence that we show to the material things that we obsess over. Our phones, our computers, our cars, our vacations, our JOBS.... we work so HARD to get these things, but the important "things" like relationships, feelings, hearts, and souls we rarely give as much time and attention to attain.
Here is my internal battle cry.... PEOPLE put my TIME, ATTENTION, PASSION into the really important and lasting things that will last longer than a 2 year contract.
