It's 8:15 am and I only had 3 hours of sleep last night. Nobody's fault simply working on the many projects that occupy my mind. I try and work these insane hours so that I spend more time with the littles. I don't know that it is accurate. I feel like I am always working. There is no escape but this morning I saw you be so brave. My brave little Poppy: Clear, to the point, and direct. You are not one for many words. You say what needs to be said and never more. You sat in the big patient chair all by yourself, and I've never been so proud, and sad at the same time. I was so impressed you could be mature enough to sit and answer and listen, but I knew that while you still wanted me there, you did not need me. Yes, they asked me the year you were born because you have no idea what that means, but hey, I can barely remember it and I was coherent when it happened.
I saw you say your "yes", and "no" and saw your big eyes express your feelings like they always do. I'm afriad my dear that you will have a hard time hiding those feelings that wash over you. Those enormous eyes speak volumes and they are what had me come over after the 3rd doctor left to hold you before you left with strangers you trust.
No wagon for the no non-sense Poppy Mae. She will just walk thank you very much. We walked and then I had to stay. My love that was the hardest leave I've had with you so far. You never need me, you often want me, but today neither mattered because it was not allowed. You looked at me and then kept walking. You walked away from me and I watched. It will never be the same. You will continue walking away from me and today I just realized that you have been inching your way for sometime, but it's becoming more obvious that you are on your way, on your own terms. You are living your life and know your mind. I am just a by standard now - hoping the eyes will seek me out, but for now I just wait.
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