The Last Time... For the Very Last Time

Tonight I was hit with the reality that I might have held my last baby for the very last time. There may be no others. The problem with never making plans is that you have no plan to prep your self to know these things. The last time might have been the last time and you had no idea of it's significance. You didn't remind yourself to relish that moment. You didn't tell yourself to remember that noise... your crying baby because you will never hear it again. I didn't think it was the last, but what if it was. I had no idea the loss would be so great. The void would feel like a chasam and my heart would break for what I may never have again. The last time may have passed without my knowing or concent. Now what?