Goals

I don't know if I should be proud or discouraged that I don't set goals. I don't usually because I can't seem to ever feel like they are accomplished so therefor I accomplish nothing? Viscous cycle right? In trying to figure out my crazy feelings right now I am being asked to create an ideal life. This whole idea is super uncomfortable for me because an ideal is fake in my world, YET how can I get close to what I want if there is no ideal to look to so I'm taking the challenge and trying to manifest my ideal into being.

First step apparently is to write it down. The What. The When. By When. The Action Plan. The Motivation (why) and Emotional Connection. This really is the worst part because then it's real and then you know when you didn't do it because there is a record of what should have happened. Guess you can say I'm afraid of failure which is mostly likely another post itself, so here we go.

1.Goal that has eluded me:
*A truly finished house - from top to bottom/ inside & out
-I need to finish the flooring, trim, paint, couches, piano in living room.
-Trim out hallway
-Paint or re-finish cabinets
-Finish doors, trim, tile in the upstairs
-Re-decorate my bedroom
-Do master closet
-Paint hazel ceiling, move sewing stuff into closet
-2 more trees outside and some willow

*Things to do this month:
-Paint hazel ceiling
-Hang pics in basement
-Hang Jude art
-design master closet
-Master bedroom decorated with bed and bedding

*Finish date: May 2019

*5 reasons/motivations for this dream
-I feel like myself when I see things I love and reflect my style around me
-I hate clutter (working hard to rid myself of things that don't speak to me)
-When things are unfinished I feel like I am failing at life and become overwhelmed
-I want my house to be a place of rest, refuge, and welcome to all who enter including myself
-I want to feel happy when I come home instead of frustrated at all the things left undone

This is kind of a lame goal. Very surface. Not very deep or personal. Ok, it's safe and most likely attainable which is most likely why my mind went to it. Avoiding the really hard stuff, but I'm starting. Deeper questions coming next.