Do Your Best. Let Go of the Rest

Man this morning was hard!!! So tired. Had a hot dog/milk/vomit catastrophe last night and it just about did me in. Seriously, vomit makes me wonder about everything. It's because I'm working and brought baby Jude to work. It's because we are doing too much. It's because I was driving crazy. My house is a mess. We are not as clean as we should be. The kids are back in the school cesspool. This list just goes on and on. Vomit is really one of my biggest fears. When a child comes into our room at night I KNOW they are going to vomit right on me ;)

Luckily - my head is in a semi-decent place right now or this might have ended every good thing that I had going for the last 3 days. I as a little sharp with the girls upon clean up, but other than that I kept it together. I cleaned up the vomit ridden car seat instead of throwing it away and replacing it. I even dealt with Gables not wanting to go sleep issue he is having right now. I FELT all those reasons above and knew that in all reality this happens no matter what and not because of something I've done.  I even allowed DJ to take over when he got home at 7:30 and I did family scripture study and my 30 minute work out. Life carried on even though half digested hot dogs had been swept into my grass.

I couldn't have been more proud of myself. Really I did it! I calmly held Jude as he vomited on my shoulder. I only panicked when he vomited in the basement. I let him scream like crazy as we walked outside and I let DJ do all the oils and errands I couldn't do when Jude was laying all over me.

This morning's meditation was all about breathing in and saying Do Your Best. Breathing out and letting go and saying Let Go of the Rest. I was able to truly do this without judgement or self destruction because I FELT I could do it because it happened already. It really did happen.

Scripture study (still on Isiah) spoke of how God can only do miracles when faith is involved. I've been thinking a lot about this. Every day I'm trying to come up with a word to focus on and share with someone. Faith is something that I have always assigned out to Christ and Heavenly Father. I have faith in Them. Today I am feeling different about this word. Miracles can also be performed by our Savior when we have faith in OURSELVES. This is huge! The faith we have in them obviously is irreparable and so important, but the FAITH we have in ourselves is just as important. I might say TRANSFORMATIVE. Why shouldn't we have equal amounts of faith in his greatest creation? The self doubt can destroy our faith in others, including our Heavenly Father, because when we see ourselves as lacking how could we not see Him as lacking as well? If we see ourselves as his Perfect Creation, of course not expecting perfection FROM his creation, doesn't our ability to do what is needed increase?

I've been thinking a lot about covenants since Katy Willis brought it up as a ministering principal and this FAITH part is so important. We must have faith in ourselves or we would never make a covenant. We would never KEEP a covenant in our fallen state if we didn't have faith in ourselves that we could do our best and let go of the rest as an offering to our Savior's atonement. Personal faith in yourself is imperative. I think it has to be in place before we can have faith in others including our Savior. Trust is an inside job and I'm working hard at building it with myself.

Almost forgot these!!!
*Grateful for a washing machine and going to be grateful for an outside hose for the car seat later today
*Happy DJ could take Jude while I did my dreaded workout. It's not fun yet, but I still did it
*Tender mercy that we did not end up going to Smithfield as planned. That might have tipped my scale of things I could endure.

Win:
*Yesterday I shared the word Charity with Rachel and it really does feel so good to boost others and help them on their way.
*Curtis seemed to like his socks ;)
*Felt insecure at Gable's preschool open house. Don't know why I do. Doesn't seem as comfortable as I wish it would. After stewing for hours about it. I mentally For Giving it back to them. I'm doing my rest and now I'm handing back that uncomfortable feeling back to them because it's theirs. I feel nothing but gratitude and love for them helping me with my Gable Boy so their feelings are theirs to work out. I am only in charge of my feeling so I'm GIVING it back to them because mine are in line and in harmony with myself.