Trust Your Truth

Yesterday was a long day 8:30am - 12:15, 2:30-9:00. Lots of things to do and lots of people to talk to. It started with an account receivable meeting and re-doing the office schedule to manage payroll. After lunch it continued with Christmas Show order, kids, running, trying to meet with Cheer, doing audition notices. Fielding questions. Grabbing kids and dinner. Filming christmas routines. Exit interviews and shutting it all down. Came home to do exercise video. Treadmill walk for 5 and then bed.

It days like this that are truly a struggle because I have so much dread at all times. I dread that I am not home with my kids enough. I dread that I am not managing the Peak correctly. I dread doing the things I know will help the business because they might upset the people. I dread the amount of extra time things take because that is no good for the business. I dread coming home an still having so much to do. I dread the tired and draining I feel because of these demands.

Mosiah 7:23 And now, is not this grievous to be borne? And is not this, our affliction, great? Now behold, how great reason we have to mourn.

Some days I really do feel this. It is grievous to be born. My afflictions are great. I have reasons to mourne. It's hard to do all that we set out to do. I think I have forgotten, however, to ask God to give me the 1 thing I need to do so that I can do that one and forget the rest.

I also need to find the balance at the gym. I can only do 1 late night a week. That is ok. It must be ok. I don't want them to get into the habit of assuming I will be there so I cannot continue to be there. I must remember that I am an extra cost as well. They will do their best. They know what is needed and truly want the success as well.

I cannot control it all. I cannot control my kids, my job, the people, my house, and especially not the outcome. I can however honestly do my best. Follow the spirit to teach me when I have done enough. I am only in control of me. If I try and control others then I am allowing/creating them to be victims and bear no responsibility.

Keeping my balance and my vision is what will allow things to feel like opportunities and not burdens to be born. Clear communication creates responsibility for others and opportunity to trust and grow.

I want my kids, my employees, my partners to learn. I want to learn from them so space is necessary to create the trust and ability to change.

I also have to trust my own body and mind and do what works best for me. I know - the spirit testifies of truth and I really need to trust my own truth. I am not sure why this is is so hard. We take in so much from others and the world that we forget that we also intuitively know what is good and right. When we deny these personal truths I think is when depression and anxiety set in. Our spirits are in direct opposition to what we have tricked our bodies and minds into. 

I find it takes ever bit of personal bravery to trust what I know and go forward with that truth. So now instead of just praying for guidance, I pray for the bravery to firmly follow those gifts divinely given.

Thankful:
-Personal Revelation. - I know I have gotten it this morning now I need to honor it by following it.

-Talents -I am grateful for people sharing their talents with The Peak. It really is something to behold.

-Not rushing. I am really trying hard to fix this. Took some time with Hazel this morning to talk through her truths.

Wins:
-Christmas Show order is done
-Only 1 bad song to revise
-Didn't get mad at Abby and I sent Alyssa off on a positive note.x