Today is the Monday after Peach Days and I made it through. That is really all that matters, but it was not pretty nor was it joyful and fun as I had hoped. I did however let it all go. Saturday I forgot to take my medicine. Of all the days I would need the patience and help and calm, it was the day I forgot.
By the end of the night it was just about all I could do to not completely loose it. Instead I wrote it all down on a scratch envelope. Filled up the entire thing and then I BURNED it all! It was the most amazing feeling to see it all turned straight to ash. Nothing left an the burnden was gone. I had given it to the paper and it dissipated into nothingness and it was done.
This was so freeing and fulfilling. and allowed me to move on. As the thoughts would creep back into my mind I would remind myself that they are gone. We have dealt with them and it's over. I think I need to do this with my kids. With DJ. With those at work that challenge me. Write it down and burn it up so I can move along and start fresh. Pretty much what repentance is right?
We confess (write it down) our sins and then we offer them to our Savior to burn and destroy and as they come back up or we are tempted again we remind our self that we dealt with that. I don't want to do it again so we leave them be. What an amazing feeling to be free of those feelings. I understand the "gift" description of The Holy Ghost, to be comforted and have those feelings taken away was seriously the best gift I could have been given after the long days I had endured.
GRATEFUL FOR
*sleep. I really need so much more than I'm getting, but I am grateful at how it helps my body.
*goals. The sisters have asked me to do a 1/2 marathon in April. It's going to take some major training, but I'm going to try and do it again.
*New week. It is nice to start fresh and try to refocus and improve each time
WINS:
*Jude is loving nursery. I really hope that it helps with his needing me all the time
*Made it through Peach Days
*meditated 7 days in a row last week. It really does make a difference.
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