Showing Love

Today's meditation of the day asked us to show love to those parts of us we don't like. An in interesting practice. It gave ideas, and thoughts. I of course immediately felt uncomfortable about my body. So hard to show love to it right now the way it is. All I can see and feel are the things that I want to change. I tried really hard to show it some love. To feel appreciative to it. As I was trying thing I kept getting pulled away to other parts and it was hard to settle. Yes my body is needing some love. My need for depression medicine right now. My ability to mother, and then it settled. I need to forgive me need to micro manage at work needs to be forgiven and some understanding shown.

!st day of fall classes yesterday and it was ok, but definitely not the happy joyous occasion I wanted it to feel like. I even let the feeling get to me. There are things that started it right out. Preschool - WILL- use the free mirror in their dress up room. Of course! They will have the signs on their doors. The coaches WILL wear peak shirts. They WILL use the tablets... the list goes on and on. I was trying to boil it all down and I came down to one person. Ashley at the front desk is NOT happy. Why is what I need to understand. Maybe she feels micromanaged. That can be valid. If that is the case I need to tell her why I am micromanaging. I don't feel like I know what is going on and I NEED that so I don't step into their world. I need them to WANT to keep me in the loop. If I'm the one watching all depts to ensure their success I NEED to know.

So today I'm going to call her in and ask her if she likes working at the peak. Why is she working here? If she likes it, what does she like. Can she focus on that to spread that joy in the facility. She sets the tone and what is that tone? It's ok to hold people responsible for their actions.

In scriptures I was reading about how God only covenants with those who Repent, and then Believe in Him. Can't make promises until we see what problems are keeping us from Him. Same thing at work. Can't fix something that is not a problem in their mind. I can't make it a problem to them, but I can hopefully make them aware of how we all affect each other.

Grateful for :
-DJ went and got milk last night after I had forgotten all yesterday to do so. He went and I showered. I am finding that I do not have to feel guilty for the things that I didn't do that someone else is doing. I can however feel grateful for them doing it.

-Hazel was on one today ALREADY and I simply told her to talk to DJ. I wasn't going to talk to her like this. She immediately simmered down and pulled it together

-First day of first days is Done. It's hard to explain, but there is a constant feeling of events at The Peak and it can be overwhelming and draining. Hoping that today can just be fun.

WINS:
*Ran .8 miles in 10 mins last night. Haven't run for quite a while. I wonder how much I will ever beable to keep running, but I hope it can be a life long habit.

*Checked in with Barbie, Jesse, Bonnie, and Sarah all yesterday. It was great to make sure they were all doing well and do my best to keep a close connection

*Jude did really quite well yesterday. Still working on naps, but he let me do all the things I needed to do yesterday during work. I didn't check on him like I needed to but today I can do better and keep working on his needs.