Rest

"To find rest unto our souls includes peace of mind and heart.... When we learn to handle the small and simple daily things in a wise and inspired way, the result is a positive influence that will solidify harmony in our souls and build up and strengthen those around us, "  Per G. Malm 

I must still be tired because the word REST caught my attention today. I think it is because it has a different feeling than sleep. I seriously think I could sleep for a week straight and still be tired which is making me think that A. I have kids and B. maybe it's more than just sleep deficit that is making me tired.

I think a deeper kind of "rest" is needed to fill this void. To rest my mind and heart is harder than simply sleeping and shutting off the brain. Unfortunately the brain is still there when I wake up and all the problems, drains, frustrations, and feelings have just been waiting for me to come back to reality so they can take their regular spots in mind, heart, and soul. 

I think that is why I dream of sleep. It's an escape. It's numbing, and puts the crap away for a period of time, BUT it is not the real answer, which is seriously disappointing. I honestly wish I could sleep away my worries, frustrations, and feelings. It would be so much more simple than trying to deal with them.

I think rest is obtained when things are actually addressed and handled or let go. I feel the weight of things get heavier and heavier the longer I avoid them. It's like the to do list that you never can get done. My issue is how to find time to actually get them off my list. 

I am now thinking that perhaps if they continue to be on my list and I keep avoiding dealing with them that maybe they SHOULD NOT be on my list. Maybe I just throw them away. Take them off my mind and to-do's. If I keep avoiding them maybe its my mind telling me that it's not comfortable with it so move along and let it go.

For rest to really work however I think it must be coupled with PLAY. Brene' Brown uses this as the 7th guide post for wholehearted living. I find it fascinating that these two words are used together. Rest and Play seem to be opposites. It feels like you should pick one or the other, that they are mutually exclusive. As I've thought about this the past 2 days I have been discovering the sense that they thrive best when they are companions.

Rest allows mind space for play. It's hard to want to be fun and silly when your mind is ready to shut down at any point. Have you tried playing a game with your kids before bed? I'm telling you the longest hands of Uno happen when I'm ready to be done for the the day. 

Play is hard for me. It's actual work. I have to push myself to do it. I have to actually schedule play for it to happen. I have to adjust my mind to be ready and willing to play. How weird is that? All my kids ask me everyday is if they can play and even then we have it scheduled into their day, but for some reason it ends at intermediate school?

I think rest and play are formed habits. You have to do them over and over for them to stick, make an impact, and have the desired effects your seeking. They are not near as effective when done only on the weekends. So today I will play, just not a round of Uno at bedtime.

Grateful:
-night time walks. It was a beautiful night and sunset yesterday. 

-Muscle tests. I am still trying to figure out what/who is plugged into my shoulder but I did unplug Jude today and will make the call to up to 3

-Gable called DJ and got jude out of his crib all by himself yesterday as I was running kids  around like crazy. Grateful they were safe and he is so bright.

Wins:
-Been getting to bed much earlier this week which is good. Hopefully I can start an exercise routine again soon.

- Got Christmas show scheduled and set yesterday. I can tweak, but am so far happy to get it down on paper

-Dj did get home earlier last night which was nice.